Got my first publication rejection as an author. Rejection isn’t new for me. I spent decades writing for film and experienced a ton of rejection there. I’m basically (emotionally) impervious to it at this point. Rejection does not faze me.
I hadn’t intended to chase publication yet. I’m still working on comfortably writing prose and exploring my voice. It feels early to be worried about publication. When I submitted I had just finished working on GREAT. It was only my second short story since picking up narrative writing again, an adaptation of a short film script I never got around to shooting. I was ready to package it up and get it uploaded through the normal channels (Patreon at the time). Finding the open call that I submitted it to was a last minute fluke.
I hadn’t gone searching for it. I was stuck in one of those internet fugues where one thing leads to another and next thing you know you’re two hours deep into reading about abyssopelagic sea creatures. The call bubbled up through one of those ambient wanderings.
It should have already been closed by the time I found it. It had been extended with a new closing date set for the next day. The call itself closely matched what I’d already written with GREAT. I was finding enough little synchronicity markers there that it felt like choosing not to submit would be rejecting the universe. I quickly figured out how to cram the story into a Shunn manuscript template and kicked it out.
That’s not to minimize the rejection or pretend like I didn’t want it to be accepted. I absolutely did. More than that, I wanted it to be good enough, for the publisher to like it enough, that it would anchor the collection as the first, middle, or final story. I absolutely wanted the validation. But I don’t need it. Equally important, I don’t expect it.
There are a lot of reasons it could have been rejected. It could have been for overall fit. The collection of short stories they ended up selecting may have been different enough that my story would have stuck out oddly. It could have been that it didn’t stack up to final selections on quality of writing. It might not have been the style of horror they were aiming for. It might have made sense to go with a shorter piece that was just as good. “Might”, “may”, and “could” are games I could play all day. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter why it wasn’t selected.
I made it to the final round of cuts. There was enough there they felt it was worth considering as part of the collection. That’s enough for me. Rejection isn’t “I’m not good enough.” It is “this wasn’t the right fit this time.” Getting shortlisted is a statement that my work stood out. While I’m still not directly chasing publication, I am pushing out the pieces that I feel have the potential and writing to briefs periodically. The plan is to start collecting rejections. See where I end up and what I’ve learned along the way.
Side note: It’s also worth considering what would have happened if it had been accepted. First publishing foray out and I get accepted? It’s better this way. I’d have turned into a fucking monster.